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WTF: Imposter Syndrome med Jamie Windust

Säsong 1 Avsnitt 7

Imposter Syndrome 🛁

Jamie Windust gästar Estrid I avsnitt 7 av what the fluff för att prata om ”imposter syndrome” eller bluffsyndromet som det kallas på svenska. Bluffsyndromet är känslan många utav oss känner, där vi upplever att vi inte förtjänar att vara i den position vi är i. Till exempel att vi faktiskt inte är tillräckligt duktiga för att ha det jobb vi har, att vi lurat oss fram i livet, att vi inte förtjänar chanserna vi får. Det är jättevanligt, särskilt bland egenföretagare, men Jamie delar med sig av lite tips och tricks på hur man övervinner den känslan och vikten av self-care och att fira våra egna prestationer.

Vad är “What The Fluff”?

Det bästa sättet att skapa förståelse och empati mellan människor är att prata om saker. Dem viktiga, svåra sakerna. Därför skapade Estrid ”What The Fluff”: en IGTV serie där vi bjöd in olika profiler för att prata om svåra saker. Från att bekämpa ätstörningar, till hur det är att leva med en kronisk sjukdom, och vikten av att stötta unga transpersoner - våra gäster har delat med sig om sina personliga erfarenheter kring en mängd olika ämnen, och hjälpt oss skapa en trygg miljö att prata i.

Klicka här för att läsa en transkribering 👀

Yes, hello. I'm Jamie Windust, author, model and cultural commentator. Back at it again with Estrid, all to talk about the wonder of imposter syndrome. Not sure if you've heard of this, but as part of Estrid's new series, we're going to debunk and have a chit chat about some topics that impact us, impact on mental health, impact our world. So today I thought I would talk to you all about imposter syndrome.

Now I hear you cry from across the land. What, Jamie, what is imposter syndrome? The imposter syndrome is something that many people face and a lot of people carry the burden of. And it's a feeling that you are an imposter in a space. So it's this notion that you do not deserve or you are not worthy of being in a space or a situation or a relationship, it can really formulate and exist as something that doesn't just have to be career and work focused.

It's something that can often plague us with doubt in our work, it can make us feel like we aren't allowed to fully embrace what we want to do because our brain is telling us that we shouldn't be there in the first place, which we all know is foolish.

Sips tea That tea has gotten very cold.

It's a feeling that I have a lot in the world of work that I'm in. Predominantly for me, it impacts me in my work so often because a lot of the time I'm doing what I like to call very stupid and ridiculous things that sometimes a lot of people end up seeing. It can feel a bit like, why am I here? What am I doing? Why am I sat here doing this? Who said I could do this? It's very common for people who are self-employed. It's something that we all unfortunately do encounter as self-employed people, because often we are the only ones that got us to where we are.

So therefore we are our reinforcements. We are our motivation. We are our boss, our boss.

So it can often come down to us to congratulate ourselves, to appraise ourselves. And it can feel difficult sometimes. And that's something I vocalize a lot about sharing self celebration. I find it very difficult. So that's what Imposter Syndrome is. Now some examples of imposter syndrome, as I've just mentioned for me, come through in work. But they can impact people in lots of different ways so people can have imposter syndrome in relationships. People can have imposter syndrome with their family and kind of feeling like they don't fit into that unit.

Sometimes you feel like an imposter in your space. What I wanted to share with you is that is absolutely valid and fine. Fine being the operative word, to feel these feelings, to not allow other people to tell you that you should not feel these feelings because whatever situation you're in and if you feel like an imposter and you feel like that is hampering your mental health. That is OK. There are so many people that suffer from imposter syndrome that don't talk about it even now, me making this lovely video online for Estrid, I'm like, why? Why me, Estrid? Although, I'm sure that from my previous video that I did, sat here in my towel turban, which you can go and watch on the IGTV, I can slightly understand why you've asked me to come back.

But even still, it creeps into our lives and downplays and makes us feel that we are not worth what we're doing. We shouldn't be where we are. Which can be really detrimental, especially, for example, in work, if you've got an amazing opportunity that you're doing. And suddenly little miss imposter comes in and nipnaps in your head, it can make you feel really down about the work that you're doing, can make you feel like you are not supposed to be there.

It means that you make sometimes poor decisions with work because you lose motivation. You lose care because you just presume you're going to do a bad job. But I, Jamie, I'm here to share some tips and tricks, some humanizing and realistic tips and tricks on how to deal with imposter syndrome. First off, before I start with tips and tricks, I just want to say that unfortunately for some people, these tips and tricks work and they can really kind of overcome this feeling of being an impostor in their space. Sometimes it works momentarily. Like, for example, for me, I sometimes use these tips and tricks in work and it can kind of clear my mind momentarily. And then often it creeps back. However, for some people imposter syndrome is gone. So disclaimer. Onto the tips.

One, know that you are not isolated and alone with this feeling. Some of the most successful people that you might follow, some of the most legendary people have and suffer from imposter syndrome. It is not just you. And sometimes that can be a real solace for people, to know that actually a whole depth of people are feeling this feeling. Even people that I look up to, even people that I aspire to be like. We suffer with this. So number one, it is fine. You are not alone. Number two! Allow yourself, and this is one that I've really gotten to grips with, is to give yourself time to celebrate yourself.

I like to correlate that with negativity, so whether that's doing a really hard day's work, finishing a project, when I finished my book, you know, sectioning time out of your day, week, month, schedule to just be like, this is my time to celebrate that. I'm going to turn my phone off. Throw my phone out of the window, pamper, self-care, shave, face mask, the whole shebang. Whatever it is, your self-care might be going on motocross riding, your self-care might be going to home base, your self-care might be cooking a lasagna and throwing it at the wall. Whatever your self-care is. Who knows. It's fine. Do it. Allocate time for it. You are worthy of that time. Do it for you.

Number three, allow yourself to use that feeling of being an impostor to somehow and sometimes analyze the work that you're doing. Often it can make us feel, why are we here? What are we doing? But sometimes they can be used for good. Sometimes if you're in a situation and you're having those feelings, you can be like, actually, why am I here? What do I want to get out of this? Do I need to be here? Am I taking up space? Could someone else be here? So sometimes, at an analytical level, and if you are critical of the situation but not of yourself, using these thoughts can actually make your work better and it can make the whole environment better. So sometimes just take little bits of it, but control what you think then moving forward on your own terms in a logical mindset because. It's a win win.

Number four? Number four I think. Understand that it is great to talk to other people about this. Often when you are self-employed, you can feel very isolated. If you are just in a new relationship, it can feel very isolating. You're like "ah, I don't know what to do. I don't deserve this. This lovely person wants to be with me forever and buy me cups of tea. I don't deserve this." That's fine. Step one, remember, step one and then step four, speak to someone else about it, that is going to do the same thing, speak to someone else in that situation, because nine times out of ten they have felt how you are feeling. So it's really important to vocalize this because, as I said, lots of people have it, and that's fine. So if you talk to them about it. We can maybe have some help from a surprising source, you know, your friend Becky, your hairdresser, your accountant, your mom's dog's best friend's mom, probably at some point has had to deal with imposter syndrome of feeling like you're being an imposter. So you'll be surprised when you open up.

Finally, number five, be kind to yourself. This is one that I still find very difficult. You know, I'm not, like, really mean. I'm not like Jamie! But, you know, sometimes it can be really difficult to just sit with work or sit with a moment or sit with the relationship and be like, love, you deserve this, you've worked hard for this. You are allowed to enjoy this. And I think that is something that's really important to structure into your mental health and your thought processes and your structure of your day, even if it's you making a cup of tea with a sugar, sitting down and just, being nice to yourself, congratulations, it's a win-win. It's just a lovely feeling, you know, it doesn't have to be that you landed on the moon today or you released a bestselling book.

It can be, I got out of bed, I went to the shops and got milk, I saw my mum for coffee, I went and did a big shop. Just congratulate yourself for little things, because often we see so many people achieving so many different things and it's like they're in their lanes, I'm in mine. What can I congratulate myself on for today and then continue doing that and you'll get to a better place. So there we go. I hope you enjoyed my little fluff chat all about imposter syndrome.

Now, do comment below any tips and tricks that you have found that work. If you're suffering from it, there might be people below that are suffering at the moment and we can all have a lovely chat about it. If you'd like to find out more. Like I say, pop below, talk to me, anyway you fancy. Thank you Estrid for having me on this fine, fine day. And I am now going to congratulate myself for filming this video with a nice warmer cup of tea.

Nu får du belöning när du bjuder in vänner! Ge , och få genom att bjuda in vänner som inte redan är del av Estrid-familjen.